


Over My Dead Body

by Crematosis



Series: Loki Plays Matchmaker [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt Tony Stark, Killer Charades, Loki Does What He Wants, Loki Plays Matchmaker, M/M, Protective Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-02
Updated: 2014-02-02
Packaged: 2018-01-10 22:02:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1165059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crematosis/pseuds/Crematosis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Tony refuses to talk to Steve, Loki forces him to communicate through a game of charades.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Over My Dead Body

**Author's Note:**

> I saw that deleted scene from Thor 2 yesterday, the one with Loki wearing Captain America's outfit. And lo, this fic was born.

Steve rose halfway off the couch when Tony staggered into the den, eyes wild and hair disheveled. The man was usually the picture of suave calm, even after spending days holed up in his workshop without sleep. To see Tony look so panicked, well, he expected nothing short of the apocalypse.

“What’s going on? Do we need to suit up?” Steve looked guiltily at the Tom Clancy novel he had been reading. Had he missed the call to assemble?

Tony shook his head. “Loki.”

Steve frowned. “What has he done this time?”

Over a year ago, the trickster had been declared reformed and rehabilitated (or, according to Tony, “reformed” and “rehabilitated”) by SHIELD leadership and Loki had been unobtrusively living in the Avenger’s tower ever since. Loki was only technically part of the team since nobody really trusted him yet. Especially with all the pranks he had been pulling. Things like turning quinjet fuel into bubble bath or making Jarvis’ voice glitch out. Tony was probably never going to forgive him for that one.

“Killer charades,” Tony said.

Steve stared at him. “So, let me get this straight. Loki’s going to kill you if you don’t play a game of charades with him?” How on earth did this constitute an emergency? Charades was a perfectly reasonable game, something even Steve knew how to play.

“You don’t understand,” Tony wailed. He grabbed fistfuls of dark hair and yanked.

And that got Steve’s attention. Tony _never_ wailed.

“Oh god. Tony, did he actually hurt you?” Steve gave Tony a quick once-over. The genius didn’t actually look injured, just scared out of his mind. And it took a lot to scare Tony.

“Not yet,” Tony said in a whisper. His eyes darted to the side. “But he will.”

“Nope. Not on my watch.” Steve snatched up his shield from its place beside the couch and marched towards the hallway.

Tony clutched his arm. “No, you can’t go. Loki’s going to kill me.”

“Not if I kill him first.” Steve hoped it wouldn’t come to that. Maybe a good stern talking-to and a light pummeling would do the trick.

“But you can’t! If you leave-” The light of the arc reactor flickered momentarily. Tony screamed and clutched at his chest.

“Tony!” Steve rushed to support him when Tony’s legs looked ready to buckle. “My god, what happened?”

“Loki’s going to kill me,” Tony repeated in a ragged voice. “Cardiac arrest.”

“I’m not going to let that happen. There’s got to be something we can do.”

Tony took a step backwards, swaying unsteadily. “Killer charades.”

“You mean, you have to-I have to guess?” Steve slowly sank back onto the couch. This wasn’t happening. Tony’s life depended on whether he could guess whatever message Loki had for him. Oh, how he wished he was better at charades

“I like…” Tony wheezed out. He coughed and spluttered, pointing frantically to his chest.

“I know, I know!” Steve bounced on the edge of his seat. “God, Tony, I need some kind of hint.”

Tony shook his head and jabbed a finger against his chest.

“You like…” Steve trailed off uncertainly. Tony liked himself? Well, everybody knew that.

Tony rolled his eyes upwards. His face was rapidly purpling.

“Tony!” Steve said frantically.

Tony slapped his chest then gestured wildly in Steve’s direction.

“You like other people? Maybe a specific person?” Steve ventured.

Tony nodded vigorously and sucked in a deep breath.

Okay, good. Tony was breathing again. He had to be on the right track. But-wait, Tony liked someone? Tony Stark actually had a crush? Unbelievable.

“Who?” he blurted out before he could help himself.

Tony gasped and clutched at his chest. “Steve!”

“Oh god, Tony. I’m sorry.”

What an idiot he was. Tony depended on him understanding Loki’s message. Questioning him was only going to make it worse.

Tony turned his hand over and made a motion as if smacking an invisible table. He stomped a foot on the ground.

“Here? The tower?”

Tony bobbed his head and made an encouraging gesture.

“So, someone who lives in the tower? One of us?”

Another vigorous nod. Tony pointed to himself again and then back at Steve.

Steve was hesitant to say it out loud, but it seemed like the only option. “You like…me?”

Tony’s eyes rolled up into his head and he collapsed bonelessly onto the floor.

Steve rushed to his side. “Tony! Tony, are you okay?” Steve kicked himself mentally. Why on earth would Tony ever like him? They did nothing but argue most of the time. And now he had killed Tony with such a ridiculous guess.

Tony’s eyes fluttered open and he smiled faintly. “Took you long enough.”

Steve’s shoulders sagged with relief. “Jesus, Tony. You almost gave me a heart attack.”

Tony rolled his eyes as he struggled upright. “Because it was totally my idea to almost die today.”

“It was probably one of your ideas that got you into this mess. What did you do to make Loki this mad?”

Tony reddened and averted his eyes. “The words ‘over my dead body’ might have come out of my mouth earlier.”

Steve sighed. “Tony, I don’t understand why you insist on antagonizing-” Steve cut himself off as his brain suddenly processed what had happened. “You like me? Oh wow. You like me and Loki forced you to tell me.”

“Okay, yes. I like you. Happy now?” Tony crossed his arms over his chest and looked pointedly at the ceiling.

“Yeah,” Steve said. “I’m happy. Not happy that you almost died. But happy that this stubborn idiot returns my feelings.”

Tony’s mouth dropped open. “You-wait, wait. You like me too?”

“Love,” Steve said.

“Love,” Tony confirmed. “Damn. We’re idiots. All this time, we could have been making out instead of arguing.”

Steve hauled Tony up on the couch beside him. “We can make up for lost time.”

Tony hummed in approval and leaned his head against Steve’s chest. “Maybe Loki’s not so bad after all.”

Steve chuckled. “I like the outcome, even if I don’t approve of his methods.”

Tony waved a hand dismissively. “Totally worth it. Loki’s a goddamn genius.”

Steve smiled and threaded his hands through Tony’s hair. He had to agree. Moments ago he had been ready to kill the trickster, but now, now he was considering whipping up a batch of Loki’s favorite cookies.

And of course the wonderful moment had to be ruined as Steve’s phone blared out a discordant rap song. He flinched. He didn’t remember setting that as his ring tone (not that he knew how to set his ring tone anyway. Tony had insisted on upgrading everyone’s cell to the newest Starkphone and two weeks later, Steve still wasn’t sure what all the buttons did). He didn’t even like rap music.

Tony’s mouth twisted with amusement. “You gonna get that?”

Steve pressed the phone to his ear. “Hello?”

“Captain Rogers,” Fury said in his usual no-nonsense tone. “Hostage situation at SHIELD headquarters.  We need you ASAP.”

“Yes, sir.”

Steve hung up the phone and looked over at Tony. Life was so unfair.

Tony offered him a lopsided smile. “Come back soon?”

Steve swallowed. “Yeah,” he said. “I’ll be back.” He snatched up the shield and bolted out the door.

As soon as Steve was safely out of the room, Tony vanished and Loki took his place on the couch, his feet propped up on the armrests. “All too easy,” he said.

Steve was so transparent in his affections. Loki had lost count of the times Captain America had rushed to Iron Man’s aid in battle. And apparently the protective feelings extended to when Tony was in danger too. Marvelous.

He had become rather fond of Thor’s new friends. He had wanted so desperately to despise them and to make them hate him in return. But it was harder to hate them than he had expected. Probably because they were clueless idiots who desperately needed his help.

Loki smirked and his body rippled, familiar green tunic replaced with Captain America’s red, white and blue spandex. “Righteousness surging through my veins,” he reminded himself. “Loyalty, patriotism, and all that rot.”

All he had to do now was rush down into Tony’s workshop and try to sacrifice himself on Tony’s behalf, taking a fatal wound that would miraculously be cured by the power of love. Or something like that. He would improvise.

Loki rubbed his hands together in delight. “One down, one to go.”


End file.
